Venom Spitting Turtles

By: Ben | January 15th, 2009

I had an upsetting dream last night. At the side of some God forsaken dirt road there was a slide carved by nature that spun down a bottomless hill. It was as if it were taken straight from an 80’s movie where at some point our gang of protagonists had to boldly fling themselves down in order to achieve the next course of journey. In this manner I feebly flung myself down the muddy slide which transported me to a thick patch of grass which was bordered by a greenish stream.

To my horror, sitting upon a rock directly in front of me sat two menacing turtles which ravenously flung their heads in my direction, mouths agape, with some sort of gaseous element spewing in my direction. The picture above cannot do justice to the terrible nature of this event; any creature of the wild with open mouth is not a fortuitous event to happen upon, especially if accompanied by venom gas.

What are you supposed to make of something like this? It’s not often I remember a dream and this one especially hung with me through the day and it was incredibly taxing to focus on the mammoth task of editing a television commercial with such in mind.

All I can make of this nightmare is that venom spitting turtles = Catania. Walter Zenga has crafted a shrewd side that has even resorted to exposing themselves in order to find the back of the net. There is also the dark hints of shadowed men pulling the strings for favorable results yet for the sake of sport and the Offside I will not get into the ramblings of match fixing and the power of organization and money however it must be noted that the Elefanti have lost only one home game at the hands of Udinese and Zenga’s prowess as a manager has effectively pulled a side with bottom table talent into mid-table challenger. They would have managed a point last weekend if not for the dubious whistle calling half time just as Morimoto latched onto a well threaded pass which he then slipped past the scrambling Iezzo at Napoli.

A proper pre-game post will follow, the feeling of imminent doom at the hands of turtles have not yet released their grasp but I should be in fine shape by Saturday after some (God willing) dreamless sleep.