THE TURN OF THE BABA AND THE COMING OF UNICRON

By: Ben | February 16th, 2009

The Silver Bullet Marco Di Vaio ended a three game drought with his barreling gallop into goal finishing a wanting parry off of a Sergio Volpi strike. He reclaimed his form and secured his status with 16, one goal ahead of the Argentinian Prince of Genoa, Diego Milito.

The star of the show however was the grandfather, Francesco Antonioli. The old lech turned back the clock; punching, snatching, foaming…the old Gerry defended his goal like a post-war brick of chocolate. The only parallel I can muster is Yoda, the Yoda of the three Pre-Turds of the Star Wars Trilogy of course. Underestimate Antonioli you do? Pre-Turd Yoda you get.

And thus Bologna left Naples with a strong mouthful of Baba and a nice round point.

All of Italy is holding its breath, the encounter of the season is approaching, the magnet is strong, the machine, the all consuming Unicron fresh off a Milanese feast is turning it’s money greased gears towards the delicate, the palatable…Bologna.

Adriano or may I say Donkey Kong and please don’t mistake me as a racist, I only liken him to the garrulous ape because of their shared likeness of outlandishly gigantic arms which help both in their trade. Where Donkey Kong hurls barrels, Adriano deflects footballs past doe-eyed keepers. Such heinous acts are making their way towards my beloved Bologna. The ear pinching Ibrahimovic, the back pounding Muntari, hair pulling Vieira (thankfully finding little to do at the moment), and Lurch, Marco Materazzi are amongst the tools of Unicron.

Yet be sure, this planet will not go down so smoothly. If Yoda may shine once more his force in front of goal, if Di Vaio sparks a few past the Jaba César and Han Volpi unifies the midfield, there is a chance. About as good as the chance of male pregnancy but there is a chance. Unicron, mark my words, this meal will surely trigger a most noxious diarrhea.