January 7th, 2009

VACATION

By: Ben | Comments Add Comments

Above is a hot bowl of tortellini in broth, a classic Bolognese dish made with the loving hands of my mother in law. It may be the winter break here in Bologna yet the enthusiasm is high for our salvation. The majority are in agreement that it is the firm hand of Mihajlovic that is to thank yet there is also the dubious general consensus that he is in fact “a very bad man”(the reasons for which I am not entirely sure except for his past racial intolerance).
Every cafe, bar, or store I enter I am first approached by a supporter at the sight of the red and blue stripes on my hat, secondly confronted for my choice of wearing my wife’s colors of Sampdoria around my neck, and lastly we exchange adjectives for the great Di Vaio and the certainty of remaining in the Serie A.
In any case the city is in a state of hopeful contentment following the Christmas, New Year and Epiphany celebrations. It’s back to business both for city and team and next on the ladder to security is Chievo.



December 20th, 2008

Lecce - Bologna

By: Ben | Comments Add Comments

Since the 9th I’ve been working from morning till night; there is no other encounter I’d normally drool over more than Lecce - Bologna, my irrational hatred for Simone Tiribocchi would be expressed in its fullest, and my general distaste for the Lecce stripes would fully bloom into a cynical and saddening flower. However I’ve no meat left in my body, there is no hatred nor happiness, just a five foot nine frame running on survival instinct and fear; primitive motor skills have taken the driver’s seat.

In closing, tomorrow Bologna travel to Lecce, I’ve no idea of the formation or weather I only have the faint hope for victory. I’ve left you with a beautiful piece from Luzzati above to bring you tranquility. By no means do I imply that you as well need a bit of peace and imaginative comfort as I do, but if you do please write below for I will take comfort in knowing that there is someone else who has yet to find time for Christmas shopping and will join me in working through the holiday.


December 17th, 2008

YOU GO DOWN!

By: Ben | Comments 1 Comment

No time for a proper post but you get the idea.


December 15th, 2008

Bello

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December 14th, 2008

GRANDE…

By: Ben | Comments 3 Comments

Some are born to sweet delight,
Some are born to endless night.
- William Blake, Auguries of Innocence

No words could have been written with more truth than this bitter nugget from the great William Blake. Today’s TRIUMPH, today’s morale injection, today’s stomping of TORINO was quite possibly the pinnacle victory of the season. Five goals recorded, three for that gallant bastard Marco Di Vaio pushing him up to co-capocannoniere alongside the Genovese Prince Milito. While the aforementioned miracles took place I was fittingly at work, strengthening my LCD tan and inflicting long-term damage upon my retinas. Please save your tears, today is for celebration.

We’ve emerged from the relegation zone and I can safely say: in this way it shall remain for tomorrow’s games pits the all powerful monolith of Inter against the mere or rather the MEEK flatulence of Chievo, and the elephant turds of Reggina will face a desperate Sampdoria; C and R will surely fail for without another C the pair cannot form the holy CCR and clearly the REVIVAL is OURS and these two teams will not lay stain to our flag of victory!!!

Another day of work lies ahead tomorrow but at least I can grasp this bit of satisfaction; today I can honestly say that I was born to sweet delight.


December 3rd, 2008

Reggina - Bologna and The Totti - Campagnolo AFFAIR

By: Ben | Comments 8 Comments

Bologna travel to Reggio Calabria this weekend to take on fellow relegation candidates Reggina Calcio. The goal custodian, a certain Andrea Campagnolo (pictured above alongside Francesco Totti, in the heat of molestation) has sent the great Er Pupone into a seizure of rage; the result of Campagnolo’s infuriating denial of the Roman from the penalty spot and consequently denying him the pleasure of sucking his sausage thumb (click above photo). There is no doubt that many women and men have willingly bent to the wills of Totti, yet Campagnolo was after a relationship and not the fleeting passions of a goal.

Following the above mentioned events Andrea recorded a video letter in attempts to cajole the heart of the male cagole, which appeared on PM(Pimp Maladroit) Silvio Berlusconi’s Mediaset television show Striscia la Notizia.

The national treasure’s heart may still belong to Ilary Blasi, yet the smooth operations of Reggina’s Don Juan and his buttered siren song that apparently renders strikers useless in front of the goal mouth, simmered the wantonness in Francesco’s heart. A hypothesis proved wrong by the small fact that Reggina leads the league in goals allowed with 28. Still the mystery remains between the two: was it love, or is it love? The human heart is truly a puzzle.

That being said, Reggina Calcio’s logo is quite possibly the most poorly designed logo in the Serie A, an eyesore if you will. A football with three trajectory lines trailing meets the hole of the “R” (the presentation of the flowered idea must have been captivating). Most people would think the large “R” stands for Reggina yet you would be wrong in thinking so, for “Reggina” is clearly written in white lettering behind the ball. No, the dominant “R” stands for “rotto” as in “rotto il cazzo”. I’ve supplied the logo below for those of you not familiar with it, yet the football has been replaced with an elephant turd.

On the topic of the Calabria - Emilia Romagna encounter, Reggina rolled over to a 4-0 loss against Juventus and Bologna picked up their fourth 1-1 draw under Mihajlovic last week. Both are crazed for points and both know that this weekend is the best opportunity to get them, yet there is one crucial detail; this Sunday the man below will finally start from minute one or rather “dal ‘1″.

Probable formations:

Weather forecast:


December 1st, 2008

Punishment for Field-Thugs

By: Ben | Comments 1 Comment

The media concentration on violence in football is centered mainly on offenses committed by fans; which understandably is the crux of the Italian game (be it sociological or structural within the administration of the FIGC) yet the violence of players’ actions on the field should be measured in the same.

The athlete needs to act under the responsibility of representing not only team but league, sportsmanship and the media coverage that the modern player is exposed to. Irresponsibility of actions can only heighten the response of the spectators, for the fan is represented by player and therefore a wrong turn incurred or suffered on the field is felt in the same by the fan or worse, the fanatic.

Much in the same way Alberto Gilardino was handed a two match ban for deftly forearming a ball past Marco Amelia, Sulley Muntari should come under consideration for putting hands to Marco Marchionni in the latest Derby d’Italia when the latter leaned a little extra drama into his penalty box tumble yet the replay showed there was enough contact to merit a foul and he did not embellish as potently as say Ricardo Kakà crumbled against Chievo in week 12 of the campionato. The action in question is Muntari’s reaction to Marchionni’s plea for a foul, pulling the grounded player up from the armpits followed by what surely was a scathing shower of expletives directed at Marco’s decision to seek a penalty. Not to direct all attention towards Sulley who is quite plainly a midfielder of the highest level in both his tackling abilities and vision of the field; yet another instance must be called upon in this past weekends match against Napoli where he thrust a finger repeatedly in the face of the squat Walter Gargano and continued to retaliate afterward when called aside by the presiding referee Roberto Rossetti.

Cristiano Doni and Thomas Manfredini of Atalanta performed such a petulant display against the referee in week 12 when they played host to Napoli that both should have been shown a swift red and ushered into the locker room. Doni certainly at thirty five should hold composure in such circumstances as role-model for the younger members of the team, but simply as an adult he should understand that his behavior would not be tolerated off the field: say in a post-office or bank one must abide by the rule of the line (the unspoken rules of societal boundaries must be practiced for if its citizens all have mutant fits at the slightest discomfort we would all be doomed), much the same this behavior should have no place in the stadium.

The notion of fair-play must go further than relinquishing possession for an injured player; it must be extended to the referees and the opposition alike. Class does exist in the likes of players such as Maicon Douglas Sisenando of Inter; both in his tireless displays at the right-back and his consummate sportsmanship and respect for his opponents (examples need not be named, watch the next Inter match and you’ll be sure to witness evidence). Simone Perrotta of Roma must also be recognized for his discipline in the most heated of all encounters, the Derby della Capitale. Upon being shown his second yellow card and subsequent red, he acknowledged his foul and shook hands with the referee before exiting the field. It’s understood that emotions run high in such contests and I’m by no means calling for hugs and handshakes yet the practice of restraint can play an event differently in the eyes of public and while it won’t certainly rid the game of fan violence, it can surely be the difference between a simmer and a boil.

Change doesn’t happen overnight, rather it’s the result of a collective and concentrated effort over time. It is important that change first comes from the field, simply because it is the center of attention and in effect the root of the problem; and if small measures are taken in turning the attitude of the players then surely it can resonate to that of the spectators.


November 29th, 2008

FORGIVENESS UNDERPANTS

By: Ben | Comments 4 Comments

The last time Bologna met Genoa in 2007 was at the Stadio Ferraris, both teams were still in Serie B and a certain Marco Di Vaio was wearing the red and blue stripes; the red and blue of the Genovese. On this occasion the capocannoniere scored the second goal of a 3-0 route with a deft pop off his pointed scalp (probably due to some abnormal amounts of calcium deployed to his skull, the body’s reaction to repeated high pressure impacts) that left Antonioli rooted to the ground, mouth ajar and shoulders hunched, an expression so familiar to me now that I cannot see dear Francesco in any other manner than a stupefied old man that has forgotten to wear his adult diapers.

Two seasons later, two division promotions later, once again the rossoblu will face the rossoblu in Genova; but with one important difference, Marco Di Vaio is ours. The brash Roman has struck seven times in thirteen competitive games which leaves him four goals behind Genoa’s own Deigo Milito and two behind the over-sized head of the air violinist Alberto Gilardino.

Forgiveness is Di Vaio’s for the taking if he can swing the scoreline our way tomorrow; fortunately Genoa will be missing the services of Domenico Criscito in the back, his replacement: Sokratis Papastathopoulos, the Greek wunderkind. With some luck we’ll get a good look at the back of that Greek neck as he deliberates the reason for the insemination of his goal by the underpants king Marco Di Vaio.

We can only hope that a few good looks at the hairy Rubinho will stumble upon us, for Bologna will be lining up with a 4-4-1-1 formation with Di Vaio at the head and Marchini behind him in support; the four man midfield will no doubt be aspiring for ugliness for a constipated mid-field is our only chance at frustrating the Genovese.

Please observe the striking similarities shared between Rubinho and Lou Ferrigno in HULK costume.

Sinisa has proven his worth in draws however it is yet to be seen if he can translate la grinta into three points rather than share the fortune. I pray that there is true method to his managing; a draw would be most fortunate, a victory miraculous, a thorough beating at the hands of that damned Prince Milito and Palladino: expected.

Here are the probable formations:

Weather:


November 25th, 2008

SOILED SUCCI

By: Ben | Comments 6 Comments

Steven from the Palermu Offside has brazenly stolen my Citizen Zamp photo so in retaliation I have stolen one of his! Yet in doing so I noticed one very peculiar detail which he did not. If you look closely at the victorious Davide Succi’s bottom-wear you’ll notice a beige and no doubt foul smelling spot. Yes, sadly the young man upon locking eyes with Francesco Antonioli (our man between the sticks) seems to have lost control of his bowel functions; the stench must have distracted our fair keeper, clever indeed.

Well Steven, I hope this the last time photo-thieving will occur between us; grown men such as ourselves should act in a gentlemanly fashion as was displayed here today.

A final note to any Roman that may unintentionally find themselves out here in the obscure fringes of relegation threatened blogs, luck to you tomorrow and for the good of the Serie A I wish you an enormous victory.


November 24th, 2008

TARDY PRE-GAME

By: Ben | Comments 4 Comments

Charles Foster Kane: media mogul, Maurizio Zamparini: retail mogul, the similarities are striking. Where one built an empire on the back of the scandalous New York Inquirer, the other exercised his muscle of capitalism in the business of department stores (Emezzeta is currently holding a rousing pre-Xmas sale, apparently somebody beats The Wiz)

CFK wooed the hearts of his female partners only to find ruin after domestication; love could not be won or purchased and his final realization of happiness was embodied by a wooden sled. In the same manner Maurizio Zamparini wooes football managers into the cold grasp of his withered hands only to sack them in a loud manner; a number which has tallied to an impressive 26 (Davide Ballardini will surely make the 27th).

In earnest I don’t wish the same fate of Kane upon Zamparini and with the knowledge of the result of the encounter this half written once intended pre-game post must be transformed to a less scathing attack upon the department store tycoon. For all men deserve their peace of sorts, as long as that peace doesn’t infringe upon the freedoms of others or in this case on my dear RossoBlu.

With fair depression I missed the day of games and have been as of late hand-cuffed to the responsibilities of a working a man and so the results were relayed to me last night through half shut eyes by RAI’s Domenica Sportiva. Since points were shared, I declare peace with Palermo or Palermu and extend the hand of a hearty sportsman’s grip, well done. What a shame, I went through all the trouble of comping together this Miccoli quiz:



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